You Know You Live In Florida If…

It seems I’ve been on a roll this week of posting things sent to me via email.  Taking the lazy way out when I’m not quite up to par seems  the perfect solution of not letting myself slip into oblivion.  Now, that the hurricane season is winding down and almost over, perhaps alittle humor is called for.  I’m sure the people who live anywhere along Hurricane Alley can appreciate the truth in this humor. 

 

 

You know you live in Florida if…

 

You have FEMA’s number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 300 ‘C’ and ‘D’ batteries in your kitchen drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti O’s.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the plywood

covering your windows.

When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you say it has

three bedrooms, two baths, and one safe hallway.

Your SSN isn’t a secret, it’s written in Sharpie on your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot.

The road leading to your house has been declared a ‘No-Wake’ Zone.

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on the bottom of the

pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane and not feel the

least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend board up by thinking "It’ll only take

a gallon of gas to get there and back".

You have 2-liter coke bottles and milk jugs filled with water in your

freezer.

Three months ago you couldn’t hang a shower curtain; today you can

assemble a portable generator by candlelight.

You catch a 13-pound redfish – in your driveway.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner’s insurance

policy.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy with the biggest

chainsaw.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work

at the Weather Channel and every single newscaster and reporter at all

of the major stations in town.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Relocating to South Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.

You spend more time on your roof then in your living room.

You’ve been laughed at over the phone by a roofer, fence builder, or a

tree worker.

Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily mean it’s

Christmas.

The hurricane shutter guy and your roofer are driving BMW’s.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a storm and the "bad

side."

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the air conditioning.

A battery powered TV is considered a home entertainment center.

A chain saw, generator or a gas grill comes as a free gift with every

new Florida mortgage.

The Right Kind Of Chain Letter

I usually hate the typical “chain letter”  that gets passed around via e-mail telling the recipient to forward it on to at least 5 friends and something great will happen as a result of that action. I rarely pass those things on! Oh my, aren’t I the rebel  for defying the gods of destiny? I did, however receive one chain letter from a friend the other day that I thought was cute. God, I love that dry sarcasm Mainiacs possess! Oh yeah…that’s right! I’m from Maine, aren’t I? Thank God! Now, I have a legitimate excuse for being me…

 

As I Mature…

 

I’ve learned you can’t make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I’ve learned you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that you had better have a big willy or huge boobs.

I’ve learned that you should never compare yourself to others – they are more screwed up than you think.

I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting long after you think you’ve finished.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we’re celebrities.

I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house; one of your kids did it.

I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never to go away.

Pass this along to 5 friends…trust me, they’ll appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something good will happen. If not, tough shit!

Calling All Bloggers

A fellow blogger, Bleak Morn needs people willing to read an article (very short) and then write their initial reaction to the article without reading other people’s comments first.   How about everyone helping him out?

 

 

©2005 Abnormally Normal People. All rights reserved.

Beyond The Blogosphere

It’s fast approaching the one year mark for many of us who came to Spaces when MSN first open its doors so people to spread our wings and write. I can honestly say I didn’t know what to expect when I wrote my first entry, but have to admit that for the most part blogging has been a very positive experience for me. I think the only thing I would change if I could is the way some people are rude and hastily judge a person often times forgetting that these written words are only a small reflection of who each of us are. For example, my previous post was about me lamenting over a lost love. One might take that as me living in the past or spending all my time dwelling upon something that wasn’t meant to be. In my case neither is true. Often times I write just to blow off steam…as a thought comes into my head I might feel compelled to put that feeling into words.

As I surfed around Spaces the other day, I discovered several people have closed their blogs. Many of those people will be missed by many. It made me think of the times I’ve felt like leaving. Each time I’ve felt that way, I’ve always been reminded of why I came here initially. That reason hasn’t changed nor do I think it ever will. I do have to admit my expectations of blogging have changed immensely over the past year and due to both the support and criticism I’ve received, I have come to realize that each of us are people and not text on a screen.

By writing, each of us has taken the time to open the door and invite others into our minds. Some of us write stories, others write about our lives and experiences. Some people choose to share their opinions about current events and other debatable topics. Many people have given us beautiful photography, original artwork and inspirational poetry. Whatever a person’s contribution has been to Spaces, it’s been a personal one derived by a person’s preferences. Although our words don’t define who each of us is entirely, it gives the reader a peek inside. There are many compassionate people out here who rally when a person needs support. There are others who like to attack people and spread negativity. I suppose in many ways the blogosphere is just an extension of real life. I believe those people who are quick to criticize and who appear to be judgmental are most likely the same way in their everyday lives.

I have to thank Melissa for coaxing me out of my funk I’ve been in lately. Health problems, as she is well-versed in, will not only effect a person’s physical being, but it effects a person’s emotional and spiritual being as well. Struggling to gain acceptance of a chronic health problem is a tough task to undertake and one that usually runs a person through the emotional obstacle course from anger to denial to irrational sanity and then back again. I’m fatigued. I don’t feel well and I’m frightened. Several medication changes later, nothing has improved and I have begun to wonder if I ever will feel normal again…whatever normal is! With that written, I bid all of you adieu as I log off and go to greet the sandman for another night of restlessness and contemplation…

 

©2005 Abnormally Normal People. All rights reserved.

Click Your Heels Together 3 Times…

The comments left for me regarding my last entry made me think more deeply about "finding home". I feel compelled to say that finding home for me isn’t anything external. I have had a void in my life for so long that I’ve come to accept it as being as much a part of me as are my long legs. Every now and then I throw myself into the abyss of uncertainty. Each time I explore it, what I find is like a mirror image. The inner peace and happiness I’m lacking is not in someone else nor is it somewhere else. I know that happiness lives within and radiates outward. The missing factors in my life are factors that left me at an very early age…some were cruelly stripped from me while others developed slowly as learned behaviors. The void I feel I often times think is simply the childhood I never had. I often wonder who I would have been if I had grown up in a family where love was not a painful thing or if I had never left home when I did. Would I have perished or would I have survived? Can anyone really answer that with any absolute certainty?

Talking to my first love always makes me feel both happy and sad. Nostalgia floods my thoughts along with thoughts of "what if". I made the mistake not too long ago in believing that loving someone could change my life. I let how I felt when I was with this person grow into believing that love conquers all obstacles. What I forgot was that unreciprocated love conquers nothing. One could assume that I’m everything from a glutton for punishment to being just plain stupid when it comes to men. In reality, I’m neither. In reality, my interest in finding that special someone has waned.

As I have developed health problems, I find myself less interested in the whole relationship process. The memory of being "dumped" because my worth was measured in terms of physical performance still haunts me. I remember feeling crushed, disappointed and unworthy. But unworthy of what? Of not being able to do something I’ve never been exposed to doing before or ever attempted to do? Would anyone be able to climb a high mountain on first try without climbing the small ones first? I now believe throwing this fish back in the pond was entirely his loss. In my quest of finding home, I found where home isn’t and was reminded of why I’ve remained single for so long.

 

©2005 Abnormally Normal People. All rights reserved.

Round Two – Wrestling With Rita

What is it about religion and politics that make people so passionate and eager to stand up and fight? Regardless what some may think, I really do appreciate reading everyone’s viewpoints on any subject. I do, however have to say if I express an opinion, it doesn’t mean I think ALL people are guilty of whatever I write about. I feel rather foolish for feeling I even have to write that. I think many of us write in general terms about many subjects. For example, when I rant about men and relationships…it doesn’t mean I think all men are assholes and good relationship don’t exist. I’m just blowing off steam and expressing my feelings. I suppose anyone who steps out of the shadows and does express an opinion about anything is setting themselves up to be criticized. Criticism I can handle, but what I have a problem with is anyone reading what I write and then picking certain things out of what I write and not looking at the entry as a whole.  I often times feel my whole point is missed when that is done.

Racheal pointed out that I didn’t give credit to all the Christians who are helping in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.  She’s right! I didn’t do that because that wasn’t the topic of my entry. My previous entry was just an opinion about some injustices I’ve noticed and  feel strongly about. My opinion on this matter, in part, has been formed by the countless emails I’ve received since Hurricane Katrina and from what I’ve witnessed firsthand as some people’s behaviors in times of crisis. It saddens me to admit that I even know people who refer to blacks as "niggers", who feel as if anyone not sharing their religious beliefs are eternally damned and who call themselves good Christians, yet pick and choose which teachings of Christ they follow. Just so everyone gets this straight…no, I DON’T think all Christians are guilty of doing this, just as I DON’T think all the people who stayed in New Orleans instead of evacuating are guilty of looting, raping and murdering.

In times of need, people of ALL races need to pull together and help one another. In a few days, Hurricane Rita will make landfall and once again the Gulf Coast will suffer from Mother Nature’s fury. I hope that Hurricane Katrina taught people to work together and to take evacuation orders seriously. My thoughts are with all those who are in the path of Rita and I sincerely hope that she runs out of steam before making landfall or is at least downgraded to a minimal hurricane.  For those who have decided to batten down the hatches and ride Hurricane Rita out, make sure you read how to prepare for a hurricane written by The American Red Cross and then do what’s listed.  

 

 

©2005 Abnormally Normal People. All rights reserved.

Cosmic Chaos

It’s almost comical how one’s life can change so drastically in the matter of a few seconds. Today, after sleeping most of the day away upon returning home from work, I opened my eyes and realized that I no longer have a job. Monday, I have yet another funeral to attend and then I’ll be out rustling up a way to pay the bills and to survive!  Hurricane Katrina may make jobhunting somewhat challenging initially if she comes my way! We’ll see if "X" really does mark the spot and where she makes landfall.  Those of us who live along The Redneck Riviera have begun to think an imaginary groove has been worn in hurricane alley guiding storms for a  Pensacola bullseye! 

Here is your horoscope
for Friday, August 26:

Go ahead and unleash your wild side. Hasn’t it been fettered for far too long? That’s not healthy, you know. So go ahead and cut loose. It’s a jungle out there, and you’re an animal, baby!

Who am I to argue with the stars?

 

 

©2005 Abnormally Normal People. All rights reserved.

I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up

While sedated I checked my stats (something I rarely do)…checking my stats, that is and noticed that one whole page was covered by the same URL.  Upon investigation, I discovered this weird website.  I say weird because I didn’t understand the message. Was it the bad grammar? hmmmm! But was the bad grammar intentional?

 

This is what happens when your BP becomes elevated and and aliens invade your brain.

 

[All your base are belong to us?]

 

I don’t get it…does that mean I’m old or just abnormally normal?

 

By the way, there’s only 142 shopping days until Christmas! HO! HO! HO! (For those of us who are keeping count)

 

 

A Therapy Session With Karen

I guess it’s pretty obvious that I’ve been avoiding writing for the past few days by the entries I’ve posted. I’ve had some things thrown my way lately that have required both my attention and thought. I’m rather used to random flamers coming by to spread their hate and discontent my way, but a few days ago I got some negative feedback from someone that I like and admire. This was not done as a comment on my site, but to me personally. It threw me for a loop and made me do some serious thinking about myself. Often times when I have a problem, writing about that problem helps me see it in its entirety. The problem then becomes clearer to me and the solution becomes often easier to find. Sometimes the solution comes from some of the advice I have received as a result of writing about a problem. I want to thank all the people who not only read the things I write, but also take the time to write comments. It always amazes me just how many people can identify with the thoughts that run through my mind. It just goes to show that no matter how different each of us is, we all are very similar in many ways.

To start this therapy session I want to discuss a few things that have bothered me in the past several days. I was called "needy" because I’m searching for Mr. Right, but what the person calling me this overlooked was that I’ve been single for 8 years and although finding Mr. Right would be great, if it doesn’t happen, I’m not going to slit my wrists or put my neck in a noose. I’m actually a fiercely independent and strong, self-sufficient female. Finding Mr. Right isn’t going to make me whole as a person or "make" me happy. I believe happiness and being whole comes from within. Those are not things someone can give you. I’ve learned along my journey that there are far worse things in life than being alone or lonely. Being with the wrong person is far worse! I also think there is a huge difference between needing something and wanting something. Yes, I want to find someone to share my life with and who can and will love me, but this isn’t something I necessarily need to make my life complete.

I also was accused of being an "instigator" and because I was listed as the "Instigator Extraordinaire" on someone’s list of favorite blogs, this person who accused me assumed that is how I’m perceived my the masses. Am I? How do you see me? The smartasses can refrain from answering it by saying they see me with their eyes! At the time that my link was added as "Instigator Extraordinaire", it was around the time the Red Dyke and Psychedelic Pariah were at war. It’s a miracle anyone lived through that whole ordeal, but guess what? I think what resulted was that both parties developed a healthy respect for each other. Correct me if I’m wrong, but an instigator goes around trying to stir up trouble by spreading hate and discontent. I only bite when I’m bitten first. Yes, I have taken my flamethrower out and burned a few people to a well-charred crisp, but those "chosen ones" were people who came to my site and left rude comments for me about me. They weren’t people who I found on any hunting expedition. They came to me! I’m all for people being able to disagree and to be able to express their own beliefs and opinions, but I feel name-calling and libelous garbage are unnecessary in expressing an opposing viewpoint on a topic. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever attacked anyone for opposing me in any intelligent way. I respect and value people’s opinions even when they are different from my own. Being exposed to varying opinions keeps me open-minded and receptive to learning new things. The only time anyone has felt my wrath is when they have come to my site and started attacking who I am as a person and crossed the line by being rude, crude and lewd. If that’s what an instigator is then I’m guilty as charged.

Next, I was called "Ms. Hyde". Although that doesn’t depict me as being a warm, fuzzy person, I have to admit that maybe at times I’m less than patient with people. Late in the day when I’m in pain and haven’t taken any pain meds yet, probably isn’t the best time to approach me with anything important or stressful. Like most people when I’m in pain, I’m irritable and my fuse is somewhat shorter than it normally is. But I think by calling me Ms. Hyde, the person hasn’t shown me much compassion and has overlooked the fact that gradually increasing pain is something I will have to live with the rest of my life has been a hard thing for me to accept and to cope with at times. I would like to think that the people closest to me and who know me best wouldn’t include me being a Ms. Hyde if they were asked to describe me.

The last thing I need to address in my therapy session is how the meanings of words sometimes vary from person to person. I once did an entry using the words " discussing", "arguing" and "fighting" and how some people see them as meaning the same thing when they actually mean 3 very different things and have 3 very different outcomes. Men and women often use words in different ways and when they’re talking to each other the discrepancies in word meanings may cause misunderstandings and hard feelings. We all know men are from Mars and women are from Venus. The language barrier can definitely cause some hardships in any sort of relationship between the two sexes. I recently was accused of "pumping" someone by simply asking that person a question. From past experience I have learned that usually when a person gets defensive and uses words with negative connotations, it’s with the motive to back someone off from a particular topic. Perhaps the topic is a painful one and hard for that person to discuss or sometimes people will use getting defensive as a means of a distraction when the topic being discussed is one that might get that person in trouble if the truth were to be known. Whatever the reason, I never quite figured it out, but do know these things hurt my feelings because they were said by someone who claims to like me. It didn’t seem that way and made me wonder if they see me as having any assets at all.

Well, time is up and this session has come to an end. My next appointment will include a very frank entry discussing the dynamics of online relationships.

Red Kitten — Poser Or Not?

I see the "real" Red Kitten is back again and this time calling me a "poser". Do any of you remember the stirring she caused last time she visited my site? I must admire her for keeping up on the current lingo and attempting to use it correctly. That shows me she must be young at heart, but unfortunately that’s where the youthfulness stops. Unlike her website, people don’t come here to purchase my used underwear and to gaze at my breasts that hang to my waist. The only problem I see with her use of the word "poser" is that she uses it incorrectly. Technically a "poser" is someone who imitates someone else. I have never tried to imitate her nor would I ever do that. I may be alot of things, but the last time I checked people didn’t need a trashcan handy when they viewed my face or navigated through my site.

 

I hate to inform her that my screen name was in use by me way before she purchased her own domain. That would make her the "poser" and not me. Now, if she can show me proof that she was using the name Red Kitten before May 6th, 1998 when I became a member at Yahoo (Yahoo so nicely provides the option of showing when you became a Yahoo member on your Yahoo profile) and selected Red_Kitten1 as a screen name then I might be willing to stop using the name Red Kitten altogether since it seems to bother her so much that we share the same name. If she can’t show me proof, then she’ll just have to deal with it because I’m not going anywhere and I will not stop using this name. So Red Kitten, wherever you’re lurking, either produce some proof or shut the hell up and stop visiting my site!

 

A special note to Psychedelic Pariah:  I think this RED KITTEN more fits the TROGLODYTE flame you did about me than it did for me.  She’s after my name…what’s next?  Is she gonna send out the troops to harass the Red Dyke too? That might be fun! Do you think I ought to ruffle her feathers alittle?

 

A special note to my readers:   Anyone wanting to voice their comments may do so here or on her site, Red Kitten after making a purchase. (Maybe I should ask for a commission off all the sales she gets from people going to her site from the link on my site…LOL)