When I first moved from the Northeast to the South, I suffered from severe culture shock. I’m not saying the South is a bad place to live or that the people whose heritage is so deeply rooted here are inferior in anyway. All I’m saying is that I felt like a fish out of water for the first few years I lived here. All it took was me opening my mouth to speak for me to become the center of attention and be deemed a “yankee“. Being a "yankee" always felt I’d never fit in!
I may still call New England home, but The South is where I went for refuge during the years when I so desperately needed a change. During those years as I assimilated and adapted to my new environment, I truly learned about myself and others. I finally came to realize although I made many huge mistakes growing up, I never measured a person’s worth by the color of their skin, their religious beliefs or the amount of material objects they owned. I tended to rate a person’s value more by their capacity to love unconditionally, their ability to accept change even when it was unwelcome and their wisdom that they so compassionately share with others in dire need. I also learned in order to see the humor in most things, one must first see the truths and understand them.
Compassionately passed on from Red Kitten, here are a few words that might make you’re next trip to the South less like visiting a foreign country:
· BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow". Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."
· JAWJUH – (noun) – The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
· BAMMER – (noun) – The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements."
· MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts."
· THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare."
· BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare."
· IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"
· RANCH – (noun) – A tool used for tight’nin’ bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
· ALL – (noun) – A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
· FAR – (noun) – A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far."
· TAR – (noun) – A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
· TIRE – (noun) – A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
· RETARD – (verb) – To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."
· FAT – (noun), (verb) — a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh."
· RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats."
· CHEER – (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."
· FARN – (adjective) – Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country."
· DID – (adjective) – Not alive. Usage "He’s did, Jim."
· ARE – (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain’t breathe…give ‘im some ARE!"
· BOB WAR – (noun) – A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
· JEW HERE – (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?"
· HAZE – a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah…haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n ‘is laf."
· SEED – (verb) — past tense of "to see".
· VIEW – contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain’t never seed New York City … view?"
· GUBMINT – (noun) – A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."
· HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"
