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The “abnorms” are now located at : MILDRED RATCHED MEMOIRS

Oh no! This can’t be! Who would do such a thing and not want sexual favors in return? OOOPS…maybe I spoke too soon! Please read on and experience the mental orgasm I had from discovering/rediscovering how friendship via the ole blogosphere transcends time and distance.  I highly recommend you add the links below to your  list of "must reads".

there’s no place like home?

"It’s my mother blog. It’s my sister blog. It’s my mother and my sister blog."
 
Okay, so I paraphrased a quote from Chinatown. Sue Me. I used it as an example of just how screwed up and fickle I am. After reaching the bottom of a very empty blogspot barrel and realizing I had nothing left to scrape, I did what I thought was necessary. I closed down and came back to my mother blog, hoping for some kind of renewal…a kind of blog barrel refilling, so to speak.
 
Unfortunately, mother/home/blog no longer offered sweet repose on her ample bosom. The old gal had undergone plastic surgery, an extreme makeover, a rethinking of old values and decided sitting around waiting for an errant son was not her cup of Earl Grey. Stupid bitch was out partying.
 
Not to mention, most of the kids I went to blog school with were no longer here. What I hoped would be a stay filled with the aroma of fresh baked bread and pies while visiting with good friends on the stoop, turned out to be disappointing. A post-it note on the fridge telling me to "throw a lean cuisine in the microwave if I got hungry" didn’t quite have the warmth I was hoping for.
 
So, I did what most ungrateful brats do in today’s world. I left my blog a mess, hopped a boxcar, and hoped ma blog would clean up the place and put a candle in the window…for the time when I would grace the ol’ gal with another visit when I was down and out…or in need of money.
 
I returned to the newer place I had shuttered a few months earlier, reopened and decided Thomas Woolfe was correct. Bye, Bye Blog American Pie.
 
Anyway, one of the reasons I had returned to Ma Blog in the first place was to reunite with my first blog love/kindred spirit, Red Kitten. She was the first person I met in blogland and I always felt a certain camaraderie that was warm and fuzzy from the get-go. She left the Spaces ship last year, and though I missed her and checked for her return often, I never did more than that. (I never claimed to be a good son or a good friend.) I always have good intentions, but…well, enough of my deficiencies.
 
Point is, RK was gone and ol’ ma blog was out doing her Thouroughly Modern Millie thing. What reason did I have to stay? Spaces still moved like compacted shit through a diseased colon and…
 
Well, bust my buttons, Dorothy, Red Kitten has returned from the land of OZ. Of course, I’m somewhere else on the Yellow Brick Road, hawking home-made poppyseed bread and pastries, but it sure is nice to see her safe and sound in her own backyard. Now, if she would just ditch the blue gingham and pigtails.
 
If, for some reason, someone stumbles upon this roadside stand, do yourself a favor (after buying a poppyseed brownie and an apple smoothie from yours truly) and head on over to Abnormally Normal People. Find out what truth in bloggertising is all about.
 
Me? I’m At The Altar of My Ego if you’re interested. I’ll be the one sticking straw down my tin jockstrap in an effort to ease the pain of, you know, wearing a tin jockstrap (tin doesn’t breathe, damnit).
  
Lately, it feels as though my life is some sad cry in your beer County & Western song.  The only thing missing is some two-timing womanizing jerk…thank God for small miracles! It’s hard to motivate myself to even begin to write about my days MIA.  I do appreciate all the messages and emails I’ve received while I’ve been in this dark cave eating Oreos by myself (just a silly metaphor). Most of you, seem like gentle, patient people who understand how life can really throw zingers a person’s way.  Those of you who nudge me gently…thank you and those who have been demanding and rude…get a life! For Christ sake, life does not revolve around blogging or the internet.  Yes, writing is an excellent outlet and blogging is a great way to get to know people who you might otherwise never get to know…BUT sometimes sharing is just too painful especially when the wound is fresh.  Sometimes the words just aren’t there. So how do you capture a tear? Or share a broken heart? How do you convey that being alone is what you need even though everyone says being alone is the worst thing in the world? No, the worst thing in the world is having to watch something you dearly love slowly waste away and die. The worst thing in the world is not being able to help… And in the end the worst thing in the world is not really knowing if what you loved so dearly knew how deeply you felt or how much that they will be missed.
 
The pain is fresh and I’ll be back when I can focus on topics other than my own sadness.
I need help! I have been being spammed in my comment section for several weeks.  Someone has been going into my archives and posting the following spam all over the place:
 
 wow power leveling wow power leveling wow power leveling wow power leveling (with a hyperlink attached to all of it)
 
I turned off my comment section, but does anyone know a way other than doing that to block this person from having access to my blog? When I get this figured out, I’ll be back. Anyone having any suggestions can contact me by leaving a private message for me. 
 
P.S. Yes I’m aware I’ve been MIA for a long time (for inquiring minds who really want to know….an explanation will accompany my return)
 

I always admire people who have a dream and then turn that dream into a reality through hard work and dedication. Stephen Craig Rowe, a fellow blogger and talented artist and poet had a dream of creating a blog that would capture people’s unique creativity from all walks of life around the world. He started FLYING MONKEYS by giving everyone the opportunity to come together in the spirit of brotherly love and unity by working together with a common goal. 

 

For many, it was an ideal situation to express ideas and to relay information because FLYING MONKEYS was void of restrictions, demands, deadlines and obligations.  Each person was basically governed by their own ethics and morals. What resulted was a harmonious conglomeration of many people’s views that blended together as a captivating work of art…a collage of ideas and topics from free thinkers and peace seekers from around the world. People gave what they could when they could and it flourished in almost a surrealistic way.

 

Last year when I took my long hiatus from blogging, I discovered upon my return that FLYING MONKEYS had fallen victim to either human carelessness or from someone’s heartless cruelty. Stephen told me that someone had deleted everyone’s work that had made the blog successful. With nothing left, he and his good friend, Sassene tried to salvage what they could and begin again, but they really need our help and support. I hope everyone will stop by FM because I notice that nothing has been posted since February. Sometimes a comment or some other display of support will go a long ways.  If you’re interested, please contact Stephen for information regarding how you can become a contributing writer for FLYING MONKEYS. I’m sure all this project needs is a little help from kindred spirits wanting to spread a message of hope, peace and love. 

What a month this has been! Not only has my back been giving me problems, but my diabetes has as well…when it rains, it pours! My back actually started easing off to the point of being bearable about the time my stepfather fell and fractured his shoulder last Friday.  At 86 years old and being a dialysis patient, means he’s what most would consider very “frail”.  Since I’m caregiver to both he and my mother, having a hurt back just didn’t seem to have a place in the grand scheme of things. If nothing else, those people who take on the task of being a caregiver to any elderly person knows that many times it requires putting your own needs on the backburner. I can say, I’ve been thankful for the painkillers and muscle relaxers, but truthfully no matter what I take, there are times that the drugs do practically nothing. At that point it becomes mind over matter…

 

I’ve read through all the comments that have been left for me. I’ve also read my email and messages…I do intend to answer everyone, but I have to voice some concern here about the people who don’t seem to get that I have a life which includes having a full time job, taking care of my two elderly parents, having some serious health problems myself and every now and then having days that resembles everyone else’s . Most of you seem to understand that my blog is my way to relax…writing is probably my closest friend right now. I would like to apologize for my lack of free time which is the reason why I am the neglectful twit some of you think I am. If I did have free time, I guess I might search for some creative, wonderful mid-life crisis or go out and do something fun like find myself a hot 35-year old lover…and yes, I would definitely answer each comment, message, and email sent my way and spend countless hours writing witty things on everyone else’s blogs! There will be no apologies from me for me being me, but I can and will apologize for not having the time to jump into this blogosphere with both feet and give it my all.  I’m afraid that this is as much as I have to give of myself and if that falls short of anyone’s expectations, then cest la vie…

 

 

 

For all those people who have sent me emails, private messages via MSN Spaces and also who have left comments on my blog regarding me being MIA, I would like to clear up the mystery of the blonde joke. Yes, the blonde joke is alittle out of character for me.  My only excuse is that I hurt my back and am unable to sit for anymore than a few minutes at a time thus it was easier for me to copy and paste a joke to post (the first one in the hundreds of jokes I’ve been sent in the past few weeks that I opened when I attempted to read my email that day…what day was that anyway???) rather than try to sit here and type something meaningful. When the muscle relaxers and painpills wear off and I’m able to think clearly again and sit long enough to type something (I’m a two-finger typer…shhhhhhhh don’t tell anyone) perhaps then I’ll be able to type something that makes sense or at least something that’s original. Plus answer the tons of messages left for me.  For now, it’s back to bed… and back to the doctor first thing tomorrow morning. Those of you who have unanswered messages. etc, please accept my apology. I’m doing the best I can!
(Truly Blonde, Politically Incorrect, Religiously Insensitive And Just A Generally Offensive Joke)
 
 
Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St.. Peter. He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."

St. Peter said, "Blondes," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus’ birth and exchange gifts."

St. Peter said, "Booboo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said she knew what Easter is, and St. Peter said, "So, tell me."

She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder.

St. Peter said, "Verrrrry good."

Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder, and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."

St Peter fainted.

When I posted my last topic about feeling the time had come for me to request a different work schedule, I never stopped to think about posting the outcome as a topic all by itself. After discussing my situation with my boss, I posted the outcome of that meeting as a comment. From the amount of private messages and emails I’ve received in the past several days, it’s apparent that very few people saw the comment I wrote. Below is the my comment written to all the incredible people who continue to stand with me:
Thanks everyone for all the positive input. When I requested to be put on part-time status, I was immediately given the option of working 3 -12 hour days (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday) so I could keep my full time status in order to keep all my benefits, but I’d still be able to spend more time at home with my parents as well…a truly win-win situation I think! 
 
Communication is essential to any good relationship.  At work, you don’t have to give everyone every detail of your personal life, but at least keeping your boss informed about things that might effect your attendence at work  shows you take your job seriously.  The past few years my boss has been aware of my parental role reversal and their declining health. She actually shows a real interest in my situation because I think this is something many adult children face. Grabbing pointers from others who have been there themselves comes in handy when it’s your turn to step up to the plate.
 
It’s nice to have such a supportive employer and you never really know just how valued you are as an employee until there’s a critical situation in which they can either help you achieve your goals or they can strictly play it by the book and do what they think is best for business. In this case, they did both and I deeply appreciate all the moral support I continually receive at work, in my private life and via my blog.  Once again…a heartfelt thank you to all my fellow abnormally normal people who not only read my ramblings, but who have jumped in here and interact because birds of a feather flock together!
 
Today I feel like a proud peacock…
peacock
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